Toilet Bowl Cats

Posted: April 18, 2014 in Poems

It all started with a slight nudge and ended with a black out

The couch was my companion, my solace inside the raging party

That and the half drank beer, clasped firmly in my hand

I can’t even remember whose couch it was, but I remember that nudge


“It is our turn drunk ass, get up man, let’s play!”

The game was calling me, I dare not make it wait

One shot, two shot, three shots, ah I loved making shots

But I enjoyed drinking just as much


Hours and hours we played and won

Game after game, it would never be done

Finally we lost, laughing and spilling

Then I snuck out, I needed relieving


I stumbled, I stared, I breathed in the cold frothy air

I blinked and I rubbed my eyes, but the shock wouldn’t clear

Toilets, so many toilets, I couldn’t count them all in my inebriated state

But I picked the best one, and let it all fly


Beer, vodka, and only god knows what else

And that is when they appeared, a squadron of cats

They swarmed me on the ground and nearly knocked me over

First toilets, now cats, my mind was surely dissolving


Then that nudge came and I heard the game calling once again

“Stop puking you drunk ass, it is our turn again, let’s go!”

The urination stopped, “These toilets are fucking amazing! And Cats too what the fuck?”

The zipper signaled the end and together we crashed game after game


It was a night that will never end and I’m not even sure if it was real

But somewhere out there is the mysterious land of toilet bowls and cats

I hope I might find it again

  1. Mogsy says:

    This one made me smile 🙂

  2. Pabkins says:

    Sounds scary and probably something close to what my husbands night last night must have been like. He spent it sleeping on the floor wrapped around the toilet of the smallest bathroom in our house. That’ll teach you to party and drink too much!

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